Two strategies for never-ending to-do lists
Does it ever feel like you’re “getting through” one thing… only to be standing right in front the next thing (to “get through”)?
Get through the start of the school year: ✅
Get through Halloween: ✅
But, oh goodness, what’s next?
Yet another major work project? Securing summer camps? Booking travel arrangements?
I often fall back into this “getting through” mindset, AKA one-thing-after-the-next, AKA the to-do-list-that-never-ends, even though, in truth, I don’t really want to.
Instead of “getting through,” I much prefer: being present in the thing I’m doing, experiencing ease amid big events and projects, and feeling evenness and equilibrium, with time for joy and work and rest in most of my days, not just in fits and starts.
To counter the “gotta get through this” mindset habit, there are two things I return to…
#1: The art of single tasking
Here’s a 4min, wonderfully funny video on “uni-doing.” It reminds me of how many times I add to my full-throttle days by taking on more, and ultimately falling into multi-tasking (and over-doing). Single-tasking has us prioritize this one thing in front of us. Not this one thing, and after it, the other 14 things I also have to do today. Just this one thing. Right in front of me. Here and now.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying I can do it for long. But recalling the phrase “single-tasking” has been a guiding mantra for me, and the same goes for my student and parent clients.
#2: “Will this help or harm?” or “will this nourish or deplete?”
The applications for this question are so wide-ranging. I encountered it when my co-facilitator used it in a how to do well-being series for the City of Toronto, bringing in the work of Lucy Hone and resilient grieving (content warning for the video at that link: Hone talks about the death of her child and recovering from a natural disaster).
What I find so helpful about these questions is their clarity and simplicity. If I’m wondering whether to take a dog walk even though I’m in the midst of a work project, if I’m wondering whether to tack on two more errands while I’m already out and about, if I’m wondering at the end of the day whether to do that evening hip hop dance class I’ve been keen to try… I now pose the question to myself, “will this help or harm?”
I also share this with learners. I have so many high school and post-secondary students right now moving through stressful points in the year: studying, mid-terms, big essays, labs, and college and university applications. When they’re contemplating things like, should I stay up late to get this task done, should I keep or cancel my social plans on Saturday night, should I join that extra sports practice, I offer them the same question: “will this nourish or deplete?” When there’s no “right” answer, when there’s no singular intuitive pull, and when there are competing desires and demands, the help / hurt, nourish / deplete approach can be a helpful inner guide.
Sometimes we do just have to “get through,” sometimes surviving is more doable than thriving. But I’m also keen to push against the “get through” autopilot mode and into those moments of presence, ease, and equilibrium.
You’re the very best.
Wishing you kind learning,
Deena