The pain of learning
How are you doing and feeling these days?
I’ll admit, I’m noticing the darker days more and more. I’m sleepier, craving cosiness and rest, and longing for light. You can bet my daytime walks are coming with a firmer commitment than ever before in an effort to get in whatever sunshine I can. My vitamin D supplement is there at the breakfast table each morning.
How are your learners doing? Are they sleepier? More exhausted? “SO ready” for end of year break?
This is a tricky time of year for students: there’s waning energy, dwindling motivation, depleting stamina, all the while stress and overwhelm are likely on the rise. The winter break is near but not here. On top of it all, the stakes can feel particularly high with final projects, papers, and (🥁) exams – both prepping and writing!
I was fortunate enough to be back on CBC radio at the end of November to talk about what students are going through right now and to provide study strategies for more ease and energy. Alongside me was Awakened Learning’s Dr. Rachelle Thibodeau, Academic Resilience Learning Strategist. We were so grateful to talk with over 25 stations, from Cornerbrook to Yellowknife, Prince Rupert to Regina.
We love opportunities to share our mission. As you know, Awakened Learning is all about tending to where students are suffering in their learning. We hone in on the challenges, offering all kinds of learning strategy support to help.
The darkness this time of year, shrouded in a flurry of students’ pivotal seminars and assessments and still not yet at the relief point that is end-of-year break – well, it has me thinking about pain.
When I say pain, I’m referring specifically to what some of my learners have been articulating recently. One first-year learner received two agonizing 50% scores in a row on different tricky math exams. Another expressed their anguish when it comes to essay-writing. Another is suffering over their grade 12 marks, which look to be lower than the standard they need to gain acceptance into the post-secondary program they are hoping for.
These are all very painful, very real experiences for learners. But what do we do with the pain of learning? We know from our mission that in learning there can also be so much joy, curiosity, collaboration, and fun – but what if school, homework, and studying feel so difficult that it hurts?
#1. Pain of doing vs. pain of not doing
In the words of speaker and self-help expert Mel Robbins “motivation is garbage.”
We know…this is provocative! It’s also, sometimes, right. We hear from our learners about theirs lack of motivation holding them back constantly. And yet, what do we know about motivation? Where does it comes from, how can we tap into it, or refuel when it’s running low?
In this gripping, quickly-moving pod episode, Robbins talks with Dr. K all about misconceptions, misattributions, and myths about motivation. What stayed with me most is the contrast of pain points.
Dr. K – who shares some of his own painful moments, like being initially turned down from over 100 medical schools – describes what so many of our own student-clients experience: colliding pains.
There’s the pain of actually doing the studying, writing those opening words of an essay or lab, cracking open that dense textbook. There’s also the pain of not doing those things – not chipping away at the work only to have it pile up. There’s not feeling prepared for that exam, handing in late work, or work you know is not your best. It’s pain vs. pain.
The more I’ve been able to name these pains for students, the more they feel seen. In turn, they’ve been better able to get started – and keep going.
In so many learners’ own words: the pain of not reaching their goals and dreams is far worse than the pain of studying, writing, or reading.
#2. Give pain a rest
I’ve been freelance writing for alive magazine for over 13 years. My first article, “The six A’s of healthy bereavement," was in 2011. At that time, I was living and teaching in Valencia, Spain and was deep in grief and PTSD after losing both my parents to cancer in my mid-20s. (For all of its beauty, I was definitely feeling the pain in Spain.) It’s a sweet thing to see it reprinted 10 years after first publication.
Why I mention this is that the most recent piece I was asked to write for them was on pain. Specifically, pain, sleep and breath. It was wonderful to interview my friend and sometimes collaborator, osteopath Jill Bodak. Jill shares her insights about where pain of body intersects with constriction of breath and challenges with comfortable rest.
All this hearkens back to what I’ve been asking my students – inspired by our resident Academic Resilience Learning Strategist and qualifying psychotherapist, Meg Houghton – “what gives you peace of mind?”
It invites us all to try putting a bit of that pain away, even for a little while. It’s not forgiveness, denial, or avoidance. Rather, it’s a deeper exhale, an unclenching of the gut, relaxing our forehead, eyes, and jaw. It’s an invitation to slow down that softens me, as it does our learners – all of whom are doing so much, trying so hard, and holding so much at once.
#3. Shifting “at-risk” to “at-promise”
With all of the doing, trying, and holding (and the pain that goes along with it), many learners find themselves with dwindling marks, engagement, sense of purpose, and care at school.
One thing I have found heartening is a recent and positive shift in how we talk about “struggling students”. Indeed, the students who articulate struggling are the same ones we’ve devoted ourselves to helping here at Awakened Learning.
It’s common practice that students who struggle are labelled “at risk”. This is often without much inquiry into all the things that account for that struggle, like housing or food insecurity, racism, transphobia, or multiple disabilities.
I’m hearing now about a move to “at-promise.”
This shift is not without its critics – “promise” can come with a punishing expectation without any amelioration of the harms surrounding that struggling student. Additionally, where there’s change, there’s openness. In this case, an openness for educators to recognize and honour students’ pain. Perhaps even move away from pain and toward possibility.
So, as we head towards the holiday break – in truth, its own pain point for many – what pain is present for your learner (and you!) that…
is really the pain of not doing something?
can be rested, even a little bit?
might spark what is possible in 2025?
Wishing you kind learning,
Deena